Tuesday, January 16, 2007
The Menacing Monkey of all that is Malicious Chapter 3
(that was exciting, eh?)
The Story Recap, using the all-new/improved/original/never-before-seen fancy hypnotic spiral format...
The last story began with the team going to a random, seemingly deserted island, to find DalmatiHonn's friend, whose name he had forgotten.Smitty the Kitty was captured, and then rescued, and in the meantime good times were had, laughs were laughed, and eye rolls made things explode (compliments of Piginny's death glare)Trevor the Lemur (the cat), was rescued, and Cali (the Evil King of Dogs) was convinced to join the team, though she had to promise never to speak again (for obvious reasons).And now, the story continues...
CHAPTER 3
Now that the crime-fighting team had upped its numbers (yet again), they were quite possibly almost ready to do something that would move the plot line forward.
"What do we do now?" asked Penguin Guy.
"I don't know" said Zebra-Man.
Apparently, they were not yet quite possibly almost ready to do something to move the plot line forward.
"I have an idea," said Piginny, "how about we go after the stupid monkey king we have talked about defeating FOREVER, instead of sitting here wallowing in our own self-pity!"
"Yeah, I guess so," said all of the characters, except for Piginny, because she didn't need to answer her own question, and DK the rock, who instead said "Zeal is fit only for wise men but is found mostly in fools."
"Was that relevant?" asked Penguin Guy.
"Don't worry about it" said Zebra-Man.
Now that the team had finally achieved motivation to find a sense of direction, they decided to figure out which direction that was. James the Killer Whale, who had been swimming the deep blue sea while the last story was occuring, had an idea.
"I have an idea!" he said. "We are looking for an evil monkey king, right? Well, while I was swimming, I saw a bunch of monkeys standing on an island. Maybe, THAT was the island we are looking for!"
Even DK the Rock was silenced by this wisdom.
The team jumped on James' back, and began heading towards what I will refer to as "Monkey Island." When Monkey Island came into view, they decided to send some scouts out ahead to make sure it looked okay. Piginny, Mary the Goose, and Penguin Guy were chosen as the scouts, because they can fly. The following is an account of what they saw:
"I saw monkeys and a castle" said Mary the Goose.
"That is probably the right island" said Eads the Panda.
"Yep," said Penguin guy, "there were a bunch of monkeys patrolling the Castle Wall, but I think we could safely land on the island far away from the castle."
This was a good idea, so the team did it, because one of the keys to having a good crime fighting team is following good ideas. They landed far out of sight of the monkeys and set about finding a good idea to follow.
Smitty the Kitty (the Lemur) had the first idea. "Here's the Plan: Cali and DalmatiHonn start digging their way in under the wall; Piginny, Mary the Goose, and Penguin Guy fly over the battlements. Eads the Panda crushes the gate with his super strength, then Zebra-Man, Trevor the Lemur, and I can rush in. James the Killer Whale will be ready to help us escape if there are any problems, and one of us will have DK the Rock to throw if all else fails. It's perfect."
"No," said ZebraMan, "that is just what they would be expecting. We need to do something new and original, that hasn't ever been done before... We could build a wooden zebra!"
"Oh, so we could hide inside it and then they would open their gates and let us come in, and then we could jump out and attack them!" said Eads the Panda.
"I was just going to look at it," said Zebra-Man, "But your idea is good too."
Despite all of the pitfalls of having 11 characters, there is one plus side, and that is that a big building project such as a giant wooden zebra (which would usually take a long time) can be done very quickly. In fact, it is already done. One important thing happened during wood collection, though, and I would be remissed not to tell you... While DalmatiHonn and Trevor the Lemur were collecting wood, Trevor the Lemur said "You know, DalmatiHonn, its great being back with you and James the Killer Whale again, but I can't help but feel that we are forgetting something... or someone"
"Yeah, I have that feeling, too" said DalmatiHonn.
DalmatiHonn then picked up a stick from the ground, and saw what no one could possibly have seen coming.
"IT'S A SKUNK!" he yelled, and he ran back to the team's camp, with Trevor right behind him. They alerted the other team members, and they all hid up in a tall tree (except for James the killer whale- think about it). The skunk walked in through the camp.
"Wait a minute, there's something special about that skunk..." said Trevor the Lemur.
"Yeah, his stripes are a little wide for the skunks in this region," said Eads the Panda.
"And he's walking on two legs, tapdancing, juggling fire, and speaking to us in English" said Piginny.
"That too" said Eads.
"Hey!" said the Skunk, whose real name is actually Skunk Boy. "DalmatiHonn! Trevor the Lemur! It's me, the last missing member from your crime-fighting team- Skunk Boy!"
Then they remembered that they had had another character on their team originally, and there was much reminiscing and good times shared. Then they finished the wooden zebra, and our story can continue. (By the way, there are now 12 characters, if you were wondering.)
Intermission... (I am going to still write a bit more, but feel free to take a break, the story will be here when you get back, barring the entire Internet crashing in the few minutes it takes you to get a drink and some cookies... the stories are funnier if you eat a lot of cookies before reading them anyway)
Smitty the Kitty cleverly crafted the following plan: "Okay, Piginny will take DK the Rock up to the guard, pretending to be a regular, unintelligent pigeon so they don't sense anything suspicious. Then DK the Rock will hopefully say something meaningful, and they will except our gift of the zebra. When night falls we jump out and take down the menacing Monkey of all that is Malicious"
"Got it" said Zebra-Man
"Got it" said Penguin Guy
"Got it" said Eads the Panda
"Got it" said Piginny
"Got it" said Mary the Goose
"Got it" said DalmatiHonn
"Got it" said James the Killer Whale
"Got it" said Skunk Boy
"Got it" said Trevor the Lemur
Cali and DK the Rock didn't say anything.
"This is ridiculous" said Smitty the Kitty. "Oh well."
The plan started out exceptionally well. Piginny played her role as an unintelligent person (whoops- I meant pigeon, too late to change it now) perfectly, and Dk the Rock exceeded expectations by saying "Don't look a gift zebra in the mouth." This was especially fortunate, because all of the characters were hiding in the wooden zebra's mouth. The monkeys were not very intelligent, (which is why they weren't working for the Menacing Monkey of all that is Malicious and who is Really Smart, because they are not very smart, and because that doesn't exist.) and they accepting the gift, clapping their hands together like the stupid/evil monkeys that they were.
As night fell, the wooden zebra's mouth opened, and the characters all exited the mouth. Following the clearly marked signs that said "Are you looking for the Monkey King? Come this way!" they were able to find the door to his King Chambers.
"Be ready team," said Zebra-Man, "As far as we know, this Monkey is the last thing that stands between us and our goal of defeating evil form the world. It may be difficult, it may be daring, and it will most definately be hard core."
Slowly opening the door, the animals creeped inside, and found a fat old monkey asleep in his monkey bed. "What is this?" asked Piginny "this is lame, at best.
"Shh, it could be a trap" said Penguin Guy. At that moment Cali sensed movement, which is nothing new, but somehow prompted her to bark, which I will never understand. The monkey king awoke, blinked his stupid fat monkey eyes, and was promptly pounced on by DalmatiHonn. Zebra-Man approached the pinned Malicious Monkey King and said (hum triumphant music while you read this... it is more epic that way) "Now, Menacing Monkey King of all that is Malicious, your days of causing evil are over. we have found your lair and caught you, and we want you to renounce your evil ways, and withdraw your grip of evil from the world. A new day is dawning, a day of hope, and peace, and joy. Gone are the ways of Evil, maliciousness, menacing stuff, and all things that are generally not good. Do you renounce your evil?"
The Monkey King started laughing; a dry, wheezing laugh, full of menacing maliciousness, and also, it was monkey-esque. "You guys are full of yourselves aren't you? Banishing evil from the world? A new day of hope? Blah, blah, blah. Listen to me; All you have succeeded in doing is making fools of yourselves, and incurring a greater wrath than my own. You will pay for this... I have some very powerful allies that won't tolerate me being harassed like this..."
Then there was a bright flash, and DalmatiHonn found he no longer had the Monkey King pinned. The entire castle, all of the monkeys, and the wooden zebra had vanished. The team found themselves on a deserted island, wondering what to do next.
TO BE CONTINUED
