Tuesday, August 25, 2009
The Grand Final-E Story
It is always difficult to begin writing a finale story, even if it is just the finale of a subset of stories, and not the story as a whole. So to get pumped, I'm trying to create a playlist of songs that will inspire me. For example, "Black or White" by Michael Jackson. Also, anything by the band Zebra, especially off of their album, "Zebra." I tried listening to a song called "Mr. Zebra," but it began with the line "Hello, Mr. Zee-buh-ra, can I have your sweater, cause its cold, cold, cold in my home, home, home..." That one's not going to work, because I don't like Zebra being pronounced that way, and zebras don't wear sweaters. They usually wear turtlenecks, and don't part with them very easily. I also found this poem:
I asked the Zebra,
Are you black with white stripes?
Or white with black stripes?
And the zebra asked me,
Are you good with bad habits?
Or are you bad with good habits?
Are you noisy with quiet times?
Or are you quiet with noisy times?
Are you happy with some sad days?
Or are you sad with some happy day?
Are you neat with some sloppy ways?
Or are you sloppy with some neat ways?
And on and on and on and on
And on and on he went.
I'll never ask a zebra
About stripes
Again.
But anyway, this will be the last of the A-E stories, and then they may take a new turn in a different direction, possibly one with fewer characters, and titled after continents, or something. Honestly though, there are a ton of characters. If it were the Brady Bunch, they couldn't all fit even with 4x4 squares. Let alone a square in the middle for Alice.
So now, the beginning of the end of the story, where the new characters have met with the old, and are searching for Zebra Man and Penguin Guy in the ominous land of Der. E is for Enjoy:
The Final-E:
The animals were in high spirits, because they had succeeded in traveling to the land of Wolley, and were now on their way to be reunited with their old friends. They were in such good moods that they had all but forgotten that once they found Zebra Man and Penguin Guy, they would have to conquer the evils unleashed by Pandora's Box. But as they walked they talked, as talking animals often do, and the subject moved to the strange turnaround of Piginny and Skaylee.
"So you were an evil pigeon, then you were good, then you were evil, and now you're good again?" Gregle asked Piginny.
Piginny sighed in an exasperated way, then explained to everyone that she would have been nice the whole time, but the Menacing Monkey had used his Malicious Magic to make her act in an evil way (acting in a bitter and sarcastic way had been her own doing). The same was true of Skaylee, and when the castle was crushed ("You're welcome," said James the Killer Whale/the re-embodied, magical Keiko) the magic had stopped working.
Now convinced that the team was 15-strong of bonafide good guys, they continued on to Der, which was somewhere past Nubia. Now if you have gotten a map like I told you to, you would see that moving from Malaysia, through Egypt, will take you quite directly to Canada. Despite James complaints about carrying so many animals across the Atlantic Ocean, he did it anyway because he kind of owed them for crushing the castle they had all been in (although it had also saved them, but the others pretended not to hear him when he said this). And so they reached the frozen, barren, dismal land that is Canada (this may sound harsh, but also Canada doesn't exist, so it's a moot point). Now that they were in Canada, they began to search for Der, but Canada is (for the sake of the story) very large and they were unsuccesful. Nicomous, Tai, and Penguin G were discouraged that their newfound team could not accomplish one of their first goals, but a dark shadow suddenly covered the land.
"Maybe Cali made another mountain appear?" suggested Skunk Boy.
But no mountains were to be seen, and as the crew looked around they managed to see, at the last second, that the sun was being blocked by a large, falling figure. The figure plummeted towards the earth, before opening up a makeshift parachute and gliding right into the faces of Piginny and Mary the Goose.
"Ha!" exclaimed Eads. "Payback! Its not to get hit in the face by flying animals, is it?"
"No," said Piginny.
"No," said Mary the Goose.
"Alright then, looks like you're in need of some help! Let's go to Der! Also, who is your little panda friend?"
Rejuvenated by the sight of their friend, the team followed Eads as he carried Panda Jr. through the Canadian wilderness towards Der.
When they reached the land of Der, marked by a large, bright blue sign that said "Der," they were shocked to see the imposing mountains, narrow ledges, and deep cliffs.
"What happened here?" asked Eads. "Not that any of you would know, since you have not been here before. I was just talking to myself rhetorically. It's stupid, really. I mean, it's not like some omniscient narrator is going to answer me..."
"Okay, we get it, moving on," said Piginny impatiently.
But to help Eads, and to counter Piginny, the narrator explained that Der had been invaded by evil forces and turned into a new hangout for bad guys.
Proceeding with caution, they moved forward, looking for any cues as to the location of Zebra Man or Penguin Guy. Rounding a corner, they saw a huge ostentation (I had to look it up, let's not pay credit for knowing big words when none is due) of peacocks meandering (I accept Visa and Mastercard) towards them.
"Oh snap!" said Nicomous.
"I've got a baaaad feeling about this," said Skunk Boy. (It would have been worth it to add a sheep character just for this line. Maybe later.)
Not ready for a battle in such a dangerous, foreign area, especially against so many deadly looking peacocks, the team retreated into the depths of a nearby cave. Holding their breath as the peacocks passed, Tai asked, "Hey Penguin, are you okay?"
"Yeah."
"Yep."
"You could have just said it once," said Tai.
"I did."
"Obviously."
"What's going on? Stop answering me twice!" Tai hissed in the darkness.
As the peacocks had passed, the team stepped back outside to see what was going on, and were shocked to see TWO Penguin G's emerge from the cave.
"Hey have you guys seen that SNL Doppelganger skit?" asked DalmatiHonn.
"Yeah," they all replied.
"That was funny," concluded DalmatiHonn.
"What's going on?" asked Tai again.
"It's me, Penguin Guy!" said Penguin Guy.
"Hey Penguin Guy!" said Gregle, as he walked up to introduce himself. "My name is Gregle, I've heard a lot about you and..." With a shove, Gregle pushed Penguin Guy back over DK the Rock, and he fell to the ground, tipped in defeat.
"Penguin Tip!" yelled Gregle and somehow highfived DK the Rock.
"Is he dead?" asked Skaylee.
"No, just faking. It's a defense mechanism," explained Eads.
Now convinced that they had found the real Penguin Guy, they continued on to look for Zebra-Man, who along with Smitty the Kitty, was the only member missing from the team. Rounding another corner, they found a small forest clearing, and saw something oddly out of place: the brightly colored beak of a toucan.
"Hey, it's that toucan who led us to the Vault of Boxes!" said DalmatiHonn.
"Yeah, and that's where we opened Pandora's Box..." said Trevor the Lemur.
"But we didn't open the box, it fell to the floor when Cali was chasing that tennis ball..." said Skunk Boy.
"Why'd you throw a tennis ball there?" asked Eads.
"We didn't, someone threw it" said Skunk Boy. "But who..."
It was then that the brightly colored bill opened up and emitted a loud cackle.
"Ha ha, look who showed up. I can't thank you enough for your help down there. Breaking into the vault is very difficult, and I couldn't have done it alone. But since Pandora's Box has been reopened, I've conquered Der, and many, many animals have joined my movement of evil."
"Who are you again?" asked Penguin Guy, eager for some more dialogue after months of silence.
"I am The Terrible Toucan of all that is Troubling. Or Toukee. But that's kind of patronizing." said Toukee.
Cali, tired of the dialogue, and of feeling all of the guilt for crashing into the boxes caused by this bird, began running towards it.
"Not so fast," said Toukee, as he flew into the branch of a nearby tree. "Before we get carried away, why don't we all just calm down and relax?"
As he said this, a spinning rainbow colored disco ball descending into the clearing where the animals were gathered. As the animals gazed into it, they all began to see images of themselves. Or, not quite themselves, because something was very different. All of the black and white animals found themselves shrouded in color for the first time. Piginny's charcoal gray wings, Mary's white feathers, and Gregle were glowing and radiant, like phoenixs. Nicomous had a tall peacock feather sticking out of a sporting cap, which rose nearly 6 feet into the air. DK the Rock was a dazzling emerald, while Skunk Boy had a bright gold stripe instead of his old white one. Eads, Tai, and Panda Jr. had colors to rival the Care Bears, and DalmatiHonn had multicolored, glowing spots. Cali was already the only non-black and white animal, but saw herself with a big MilkBone treat. Trevor the Lemur was shining like ebony, and Penguin Guy and Penguin G were sliding down snow covered hills, but left bright colors on the snow, as if they were painting on the white canvas. James the Killer Whale was not there, because he can't go on land. But he would have seen himself as a bright yellow and green whale, laughing at those stuck up blue whales who thought they were so special because they had one color. Even Lenny the Cow/Pig was entranced by the vision he had of himself surrounded by gold and silver, with a crown of jade. (I just completely exhausted my descriptive adjectives)
"You can have all of what you see," said Toukee soothingly. "What has hanging around with that Zebra-Man ever gotten any of you? All of this 'black-and-white' business, this harsh distinction between good and evil, will never get you anywhere. Come along with me, and I can give you all that you see here."
They started to follow, entranced by the images of themselves as glorious and wealthy, as Toukee carried the disco ball and led them towards the edge of the clearing, where the land dropped off into a deep abyss.
As they were about to reach the abyss, they noticed a slight jump in the hand of Toukee, as his eyes gazed upwards. A split-second later, the disco ball was completely shattered. Startled out of their trances, they looked up to see a zebra advancing toward Toukee as he strugled to regain his composure.
"If you're hanging as my buddy, it don't matter if you're black and white," said Zebra-Man.
"Dang, he's gotten better," Penguin Guy whispered to Eads.
"Yes, yes," stuttered Toukee, "Of course, but, look! A Frisbee!"
As Zebra-Man turned to look, Toukee scrambled backwards and jumped over the abyss, then spread his wings and started to fly away.
"Quick, we have to get him!" yelled Zebra-Man, and the team got up and began to chase him. "Penguin Guy, where's your car?"
"Back at home, we don't have time! And how did you know where we were?"
"I heard someone say you got tipped and wanted to get in on the action. Where's Smitty the Kitty?"
"At home in his room."
So Zebra-Man got on the phone and convinced Smitty the Kitty to come help them (and pick up Penguin Guy's car) even though the others had been unsuccesful at the same task.
Toukee had reached the ocean and was starting to cross towards his hideout in France. Just in time, Smitty pulled up in the Penguinmobile (its a fast car, and can fly). Zebra-Man and Eads jumped into the car, while the Gregle, Mary the Goose, and Piginny continued to fly after Toukee. The others hopped on James' back. In a daring manuever, Zebra-Man took DK the Rock from his fannypack (he had quickly been put inside earlier) and flung it with all his strength at Toukee. Unfortunately, due to an unexpected gust of wind that no one could have foreseen, Zebra-Man had hit Mary the Goose instead.
"There it is" whispered Eads to Penguin Guy.
Not wanting to leave them behing, James the Killer Whale turned and went after them, but not before Gregle, Piginny, and Mary the Goose picked up Nicomous, Tai, and the Penguin G to help with any potential fights. Penguin Guy accelerated the Penguin Mobile and pulled up behind Toukee, who was quickly running out of breath, but was flying over France already. With some homing icicles fired from the Penguinmobile, Penguin Guy hit Toukee and he began spiriling towards the ground. He crashed through some trees and landed in a grassy area. Parking the car, Zebra-Man, Penguin Guy, and Eads jumped out and circled around the dying toucan.
"You're too late," said Toukee feebly, before he mustered up his energy and spat into Zebra-Man's face. I've been wielding the power of Pandora's Box for too long now. Others have joined my side: polar bears, despite being white, are even now increasing their power over the zebras you so love. Turkeys, always nasty birds, are gaining in strength and numbers. Weevils have evil right in their name, so they are obviously bad. You can kill me, but it is too late for the rest of the world. And, too late for you."
For with his dying speech, he had given his evil troops of peacocks the time to surround our heroes. Preparing for a final stand, Zebra-Man, Penguin Guy, and Eads the Panda shared a fist bump and prepared to go down fighting, for ostentations of ostentations now surrounded them.
Zebra-Man, while roaming through Der, had learned that zebras can camouflage themselves, and so ran quickly around Eads and Penguin Guy, creating a confusing backdrop for the peacocks, while Penguin Guy fired snowballs into the hordes, and Eads punched any peacocks in the face that came too close. As they began to tire, they remembered once again that they could summon their friend, the Siberian Tiger (of Siberia), and did so. With a roar that made the earth tremble like a waterbed in an earthquake, the Siberian Tiger swatted at the nearby peacocks, but he too began to tire. When hope was beginning to fade, and it looked like the end of the Zebra-Man Franchise, another Penguin and Panda fell from the sky, along with a tiny mouse. The flying forces had caught up with them, along with James the Killer Whale, and now all were joining the fight. After a valient effort, it was still an impossible battle, for the peacocks had been joined by some of the nearby weevils. Taking a sharp peck to the head, Zebra-Man fell to the ground, but as he lay there, was confused by what he saw. Amongst the peacock legs and nasty weevil feet, there were other shapes he didn't recognize. Claws, hooves, and... gray tree trunks? Sitting up, he noticed that amidst all the confusion there WERE other animals there that he hadn't recognized. Raccoons, goats, rabbits, sheep, elephants (gray counts as black and white), and rhinos had arrived.
"Why are they here?" he yelled at Nicomous, who was fighting nearby.
"We tried the whole 'summon a tiger' thing, but no tiger showed up! I guess this happened instead!"
Now, with the power of all black and white animals fighting as one, the battle shifted and the peacocks and weevils began to worry. Beginning to retreat, few escaped, and before long the clearing was quiet, as hundreds of peacock feathers fell to the ground like snow.
Zebra-Man addressed the multitude of gathered animals:
"Thank you all for your help. Apparently not even 18 characters can defeat evil by themselves. But Toukee was right about one thing, that evil has grown stronger since he unleashed the evils of Pandora's Box. I think it is time we return and conquer the evil in our own lands."
"And that goes for us too," he said to his crime fighters, who were gathered together in front of the crowd. "We all have our reasons for becoming crime-fighters, and we can't lose sight of those."
"Good luck to all of you!" he said, addressing the crowd again. "We are always here if you need help during these uncertain times."
And with that, we stepped down from in front of the crowd and gathered together with his friends.
Short-Term Epilogue:
Nicomouse found a mirror in a nearby palace in France, which was given to him as a gift from the grateful King (of France). He was also given a stepping stool made of pure gold so he could see into the mirror for himself.
I asked the Zebra,
Are you black with white stripes?
Or white with black stripes?
And the zebra asked me,
Are you good with bad habits?
Or are you bad with good habits?
Are you noisy with quiet times?
Or are you quiet with noisy times?
Are you happy with some sad days?
Or are you sad with some happy day?
Are you neat with some sloppy ways?
Or are you sloppy with some neat ways?
And on and on and on and on
And on and on he went.
I'll never ask a zebra
About stripes
Again.
So now, the beginning of the end of the story, where the new characters have met with the old, and are searching for Zebra Man and Penguin Guy in the ominous land of Der. E is for Enjoy:
The Final-E:
The animals were in high spirits, because they had succeeded in traveling to the land of Wolley, and were now on their way to be reunited with their old friends. They were in such good moods that they had all but forgotten that once they found Zebra Man and Penguin Guy, they would have to conquer the evils unleashed by Pandora's Box. But as they walked they talked, as talking animals often do, and the subject moved to the strange turnaround of Piginny and Skaylee.
"So you were an evil pigeon, then you were good, then you were evil, and now you're good again?" Gregle asked Piginny.
Piginny sighed in an exasperated way, then explained to everyone that she would have been nice the whole time, but the Menacing Monkey had used his Malicious Magic to make her act in an evil way (acting in a bitter and sarcastic way had been her own doing). The same was true of Skaylee, and when the castle was crushed ("You're welcome," said James the Killer Whale/the re-embodied, magical Keiko) the magic had stopped working.
Now convinced that the team was 15-strong of bonafide good guys, they continued on to Der, which was somewhere past Nubia. Now if you have gotten a map like I told you to, you would see that moving from Malaysia, through Egypt, will take you quite directly to Canada. Despite James complaints about carrying so many animals across the Atlantic Ocean, he did it anyway because he kind of owed them for crushing the castle they had all been in (although it had also saved them, but the others pretended not to hear him when he said this). And so they reached the frozen, barren, dismal land that is Canada (this may sound harsh, but also Canada doesn't exist, so it's a moot point). Now that they were in Canada, they began to search for Der, but Canada is (for the sake of the story) very large and they were unsuccesful. Nicomous, Tai, and Penguin G were discouraged that their newfound team could not accomplish one of their first goals, but a dark shadow suddenly covered the land.
"Maybe Cali made another mountain appear?" suggested Skunk Boy.
But no mountains were to be seen, and as the crew looked around they managed to see, at the last second, that the sun was being blocked by a large, falling figure. The figure plummeted towards the earth, before opening up a makeshift parachute and gliding right into the faces of Piginny and Mary the Goose.
"Ha!" exclaimed Eads. "Payback! Its not to get hit in the face by flying animals, is it?"
"No," said Piginny.
"No," said Mary the Goose.
"Alright then, looks like you're in need of some help! Let's go to Der! Also, who is your little panda friend?"
Rejuvenated by the sight of their friend, the team followed Eads as he carried Panda Jr. through the Canadian wilderness towards Der.
When they reached the land of Der, marked by a large, bright blue sign that said "Der," they were shocked to see the imposing mountains, narrow ledges, and deep cliffs.
"What happened here?" asked Eads. "Not that any of you would know, since you have not been here before. I was just talking to myself rhetorically. It's stupid, really. I mean, it's not like some omniscient narrator is going to answer me..."
"Okay, we get it, moving on," said Piginny impatiently.
But to help Eads, and to counter Piginny, the narrator explained that Der had been invaded by evil forces and turned into a new hangout for bad guys.
Proceeding with caution, they moved forward, looking for any cues as to the location of Zebra Man or Penguin Guy. Rounding a corner, they saw a huge ostentation (I had to look it up, let's not pay credit for knowing big words when none is due) of peacocks meandering (I accept Visa and Mastercard) towards them.
"Oh snap!" said Nicomous.
"I've got a baaaad feeling about this," said Skunk Boy. (It would have been worth it to add a sheep character just for this line. Maybe later.)
Not ready for a battle in such a dangerous, foreign area, especially against so many deadly looking peacocks, the team retreated into the depths of a nearby cave. Holding their breath as the peacocks passed, Tai asked, "Hey Penguin, are you okay?"
"Yeah."
"Yep."
"You could have just said it once," said Tai.
"I did."
"Obviously."
"What's going on? Stop answering me twice!" Tai hissed in the darkness.
As the peacocks had passed, the team stepped back outside to see what was going on, and were shocked to see TWO Penguin G's emerge from the cave.
"Hey have you guys seen that SNL Doppelganger skit?" asked DalmatiHonn.
"Yeah," they all replied.
"That was funny," concluded DalmatiHonn.
"What's going on?" asked Tai again.
"It's me, Penguin Guy!" said Penguin Guy.
"Hey Penguin Guy!" said Gregle, as he walked up to introduce himself. "My name is Gregle, I've heard a lot about you and..." With a shove, Gregle pushed Penguin Guy back over DK the Rock, and he fell to the ground, tipped in defeat.
"Penguin Tip!" yelled Gregle and somehow highfived DK the Rock.
"Is he dead?" asked Skaylee.
"No, just faking. It's a defense mechanism," explained Eads.
Now convinced that they had found the real Penguin Guy, they continued on to look for Zebra-Man, who along with Smitty the Kitty, was the only member missing from the team. Rounding another corner, they found a small forest clearing, and saw something oddly out of place: the brightly colored beak of a toucan.
"Hey, it's that toucan who led us to the Vault of Boxes!" said DalmatiHonn.
"Yeah, and that's where we opened Pandora's Box..." said Trevor the Lemur.
"But we didn't open the box, it fell to the floor when Cali was chasing that tennis ball..." said Skunk Boy.
"Why'd you throw a tennis ball there?" asked Eads.
"We didn't, someone threw it" said Skunk Boy. "But who..."
It was then that the brightly colored bill opened up and emitted a loud cackle.
"Ha ha, look who showed up. I can't thank you enough for your help down there. Breaking into the vault is very difficult, and I couldn't have done it alone. But since Pandora's Box has been reopened, I've conquered Der, and many, many animals have joined my movement of evil."
"Who are you again?" asked Penguin Guy, eager for some more dialogue after months of silence.
"I am The Terrible Toucan of all that is Troubling. Or Toukee. But that's kind of patronizing." said Toukee.
Cali, tired of the dialogue, and of feeling all of the guilt for crashing into the boxes caused by this bird, began running towards it.
"Not so fast," said Toukee, as he flew into the branch of a nearby tree. "Before we get carried away, why don't we all just calm down and relax?"
As he said this, a spinning rainbow colored disco ball descending into the clearing where the animals were gathered. As the animals gazed into it, they all began to see images of themselves. Or, not quite themselves, because something was very different. All of the black and white animals found themselves shrouded in color for the first time. Piginny's charcoal gray wings, Mary's white feathers, and Gregle were glowing and radiant, like phoenixs. Nicomous had a tall peacock feather sticking out of a sporting cap, which rose nearly 6 feet into the air. DK the Rock was a dazzling emerald, while Skunk Boy had a bright gold stripe instead of his old white one. Eads, Tai, and Panda Jr. had colors to rival the Care Bears, and DalmatiHonn had multicolored, glowing spots. Cali was already the only non-black and white animal, but saw herself with a big MilkBone treat. Trevor the Lemur was shining like ebony, and Penguin Guy and Penguin G were sliding down snow covered hills, but left bright colors on the snow, as if they were painting on the white canvas. James the Killer Whale was not there, because he can't go on land. But he would have seen himself as a bright yellow and green whale, laughing at those stuck up blue whales who thought they were so special because they had one color. Even Lenny the Cow/Pig was entranced by the vision he had of himself surrounded by gold and silver, with a crown of jade. (I just completely exhausted my descriptive adjectives)
"You can have all of what you see," said Toukee soothingly. "What has hanging around with that Zebra-Man ever gotten any of you? All of this 'black-and-white' business, this harsh distinction between good and evil, will never get you anywhere. Come along with me, and I can give you all that you see here."
They started to follow, entranced by the images of themselves as glorious and wealthy, as Toukee carried the disco ball and led them towards the edge of the clearing, where the land dropped off into a deep abyss.
As they were about to reach the abyss, they noticed a slight jump in the hand of Toukee, as his eyes gazed upwards. A split-second later, the disco ball was completely shattered. Startled out of their trances, they looked up to see a zebra advancing toward Toukee as he strugled to regain his composure.
"If you're hanging as my buddy, it don't matter if you're black and white," said Zebra-Man.
"Dang, he's gotten better," Penguin Guy whispered to Eads.
"Yes, yes," stuttered Toukee, "Of course, but, look! A Frisbee!"
As Zebra-Man turned to look, Toukee scrambled backwards and jumped over the abyss, then spread his wings and started to fly away.
"Quick, we have to get him!" yelled Zebra-Man, and the team got up and began to chase him. "Penguin Guy, where's your car?"
"Back at home, we don't have time! And how did you know where we were?"
"I heard someone say you got tipped and wanted to get in on the action. Where's Smitty the Kitty?"
"At home in his room."
So Zebra-Man got on the phone and convinced Smitty the Kitty to come help them (and pick up Penguin Guy's car) even though the others had been unsuccesful at the same task.
Toukee had reached the ocean and was starting to cross towards his hideout in France. Just in time, Smitty pulled up in the Penguinmobile (its a fast car, and can fly). Zebra-Man and Eads jumped into the car, while the Gregle, Mary the Goose, and Piginny continued to fly after Toukee. The others hopped on James' back. In a daring manuever, Zebra-Man took DK the Rock from his fannypack (he had quickly been put inside earlier) and flung it with all his strength at Toukee. Unfortunately, due to an unexpected gust of wind that no one could have foreseen, Zebra-Man had hit Mary the Goose instead.
"There it is" whispered Eads to Penguin Guy.
Not wanting to leave them behing, James the Killer Whale turned and went after them, but not before Gregle, Piginny, and Mary the Goose picked up Nicomous, Tai, and the Penguin G to help with any potential fights. Penguin Guy accelerated the Penguin Mobile and pulled up behind Toukee, who was quickly running out of breath, but was flying over France already. With some homing icicles fired from the Penguinmobile, Penguin Guy hit Toukee and he began spiriling towards the ground. He crashed through some trees and landed in a grassy area. Parking the car, Zebra-Man, Penguin Guy, and Eads jumped out and circled around the dying toucan.
"You're too late," said Toukee feebly, before he mustered up his energy and spat into Zebra-Man's face. I've been wielding the power of Pandora's Box for too long now. Others have joined my side: polar bears, despite being white, are even now increasing their power over the zebras you so love. Turkeys, always nasty birds, are gaining in strength and numbers. Weevils have evil right in their name, so they are obviously bad. You can kill me, but it is too late for the rest of the world. And, too late for you."
For with his dying speech, he had given his evil troops of peacocks the time to surround our heroes. Preparing for a final stand, Zebra-Man, Penguin Guy, and Eads the Panda shared a fist bump and prepared to go down fighting, for ostentations of ostentations now surrounded them.
Zebra-Man, while roaming through Der, had learned that zebras can camouflage themselves, and so ran quickly around Eads and Penguin Guy, creating a confusing backdrop for the peacocks, while Penguin Guy fired snowballs into the hordes, and Eads punched any peacocks in the face that came too close. As they began to tire, they remembered once again that they could summon their friend, the Siberian Tiger (of Siberia), and did so. With a roar that made the earth tremble like a waterbed in an earthquake, the Siberian Tiger swatted at the nearby peacocks, but he too began to tire. When hope was beginning to fade, and it looked like the end of the Zebra-Man Franchise, another Penguin and Panda fell from the sky, along with a tiny mouse. The flying forces had caught up with them, along with James the Killer Whale, and now all were joining the fight. After a valient effort, it was still an impossible battle, for the peacocks had been joined by some of the nearby weevils. Taking a sharp peck to the head, Zebra-Man fell to the ground, but as he lay there, was confused by what he saw. Amongst the peacock legs and nasty weevil feet, there were other shapes he didn't recognize. Claws, hooves, and... gray tree trunks? Sitting up, he noticed that amidst all the confusion there WERE other animals there that he hadn't recognized. Raccoons, goats, rabbits, sheep, elephants (gray counts as black and white), and rhinos had arrived.
"Why are they here?" he yelled at Nicomous, who was fighting nearby.
"We tried the whole 'summon a tiger' thing, but no tiger showed up! I guess this happened instead!"
Now, with the power of all black and white animals fighting as one, the battle shifted and the peacocks and weevils began to worry. Beginning to retreat, few escaped, and before long the clearing was quiet, as hundreds of peacock feathers fell to the ground like snow.
Zebra-Man addressed the multitude of gathered animals:
"Thank you all for your help. Apparently not even 18 characters can defeat evil by themselves. But Toukee was right about one thing, that evil has grown stronger since he unleashed the evils of Pandora's Box. I think it is time we return and conquer the evil in our own lands."
"And that goes for us too," he said to his crime fighters, who were gathered together in front of the crowd. "We all have our reasons for becoming crime-fighters, and we can't lose sight of those."
"Good luck to all of you!" he said, addressing the crowd again. "We are always here if you need help during these uncertain times."
And with that, we stepped down from in front of the crowd and gathered together with his friends.
Short-Term Epilogue:
Nicomouse found a mirror in a nearby palace in France, which was given to him as a gift from the grateful King (of France). He was also given a stepping stool made of pure gold so he could see into the mirror for himself.
Monday, August 24, 2009
D'Story
The Summary of Illumination:
In C Story (the sequel to B story and prequel to D story, if you were wondering), Gregle the Eagle and Lenny the Cow/Pig continued their journey to the land of Wolley to find a mystical power that will help them defeat evil. Along the way:
^The characters conversed, and Fond Memories were laughed at.
^Cali accidentally(?) found the land of Wolley by eating some Snodgrass.
^After eating Snodgrass themselves, the others joined her and climbed a large snowy mountain while having a Joyful Time.
^At the top, the group discovered a cave which contained a stone statues of a large penguin and panda.
^The panda and penguin (and tiny mouse) were brought to life, bringing the current crime-fighting team up to 10 animals: Gregle the Eagle, Lenny the Cow/Pig, Trevor the Lemur, Skunk Boy, DalmatiHonn, Cali, Panda Jr., Tai the Panda, the Penguin-G, and Nicomouse.
And now, the moment you hadn't been waiting for until now...
D'Story.
With the appearence of three new animals, very closely resembling their old friends, the team thought it would be worthwhile to listen to what the newbies had to say. And the rest is his story (actually, thier story, but that is not a clever play on words).
"Well, one day I was watching myself flex in the mirror," began Nicomous, "but I can't get up high enough to see in the mirror, because I am so small..."
"So he came to ask us to lift him up," interupted Penguin G, "like we usually do, but when we got to the bathroom..."
"The mirror was gone!" squeked Nicomous with such excitement that he toppled over.
"Right. Then Tai told us: 'There is an ancient Panda-legend among pandas that there is one ancient panda, who lives atop Panda Mountain at the center of Panda Forest, and his knowledge is the greatest among all pandas. Maybe he could help us.'"
"I did say that," said Tai.
"That sounds familiar," thought the other 7 characters.
"So we began to head to Panda Forest, which is a long long way from Worshington," continued Penguin G.
"You mean Washington?" asked Gregle.
"Right, that's what I said. Worshinton. W-A-S-H-I-N-G-T-O-N. Moving on, we were on our way but got into a fight on the way with some nasty weevils."
"It was pretty cool though," said Nicomous, "so cool, it should be described in third-person."
The Fight:
Nicomous, Penguin G, and Tai the Panda were walking down a street when the heard the ominous sound of something weevil-y. Nicomous sprang into action, sinking his tiny mouth teeth into th nearest weevil, which is nasty, because weevils are gross bugs, if you didn't know. But he did it anyway because it was a fight and now his side was winning. Penguin G got a running start and, sliding on his belly like a kid on a waterslide, bowled down numerous weevils. Tai the panda took a big bite of rice (Tai the Panda got his strength from eating rice, not bamboo) and then unleashed a massive panda punch that completely vaporized the nearest weevil. And that is what happened.
"It was awesome," continued Nicomous. "And then this Zebra and Penguin came down and started talking to us, saying how cool the fight was and how they fight crime, and..."
"WHAT?!" exclaimed 5 of the animals. Cali had just barked, and Panda Jr. had made a funny noise, that kind of sounded like "what?!" but nobody was really quite sure.
"Yeah a Zebra. I think his name was Zebra-Man, and the Penguin was..."
"Penguin Guy," said Penguin G. "I don't know why I remembered it.
"There is no way that was Zebra-Man! We saw him at the castle, after it had been crushed. It can't have been him," concluded Trevor the Lemur.
"How many zebras do you know that fight crime?" asked Tai.
"None,: the five answered.
"I mean, how many zebras do you know that THINK they can fight crime?"
"Just one," said DalmatiHonn. "It must have been him."
To ruin the suspense, it had been him. And Penguin Guy. And after meeting Tai, Nicomous, and the Penguin G, the five of them continued to Panda Mountain, which is where ZebraMan and Penguin Guy had been headed anyway, because they were hoping that the ancient panda could give them some insight on why it seemed that evil had returned. When they reached the mountain, they found the ancient panda and asked him for advice. Being old and crazy, the ancient panda had mistaken them for a group of cow/pigs, and delivered the same prophecy that Eads had given to Gregle and Lenny in A Story.
"I dont see how this wil get our mirror back," said Nicomous sullenly, but they decided to split up, with the three newbie heading to Wolley while Zebra Man and Penguin Guy would go to the reputably more dangerous Der, due to their years of experience.
"So we came this far," said Penguin G, "because Tai accidentally ate some Snodgrass, and we came into this cave and then magically got turned into stone."
"You came here to look for a power that will unite the new and old, and turned into stone, thereby becoming the new power we were sent to find? Wow, you literally self-fulfilled that prophecy," said Skunk Boy (and that is where the expression comes from. The more you know.)
"I guess so," said Tai. "But now that you found us, shouldn't we go look for Zebra Man and Penguin Guy?"
"Yeah, we have to," said Lenny. "We were going to Der anyway, and they must be the old power we have to find!"
"First though," said DalmatiHonn, "I'm tired of just journeying and never fighting, like in the good ole days. Plus we need to work together as a team, and see what the baby Panda can do. Let's go pone some Nubians."
So they traveled to Nubia, which is en route to Der (get a map), and found a shady looking neighborhood. Nubians are not to be confused with Nubians, which are a group of people near Egypt (I have to keep all my media/endorsement options open). The Nubians in this story are very Angry and Disagreeable Bears, and they are mean and if they have a choice, prefer to make the more evil and less good choice. And as our good guys approached, the fight began.
Another Fight:
It had been awhile since their last fight, but the team wa motivated by the hope of reuniting with their old friends and fixing the evils of Pandora's Box. Cali and DalmatiHonn lulled the Nubians into a false sense of security by rolling on their backs, while Trevor the Lemur purred and rubbed against their legs. This sentimental moment was broken by a belly-sliding Penguin G, who bowled over most of the awe-struck Nubians. This started the all-out brawl. Gregle the Eagle attacked with his razor sharp talons, while Nicomous, perched on Lenny's shoulders, was punching them in the jeans. Skunk Boy had a newfound talent, one that went beyond scratching at bad guy's feet. This time, he also scratched their shins and calves. While Tai held up Nubians, Panda Jr. knocked them to the ground, while laughing hysterically. And this process continued. So went the first battle against the Nubians, and their first battle together.
Afterwards, while recapping the high points of the battle play-by-play, the team was surprised to see another figure begin to emerge from a shadow, slowly clapping.
"Well done. I'm surprised you newbs still have what it takes to take on those Nubians."
"Say that again to our face!" yelled Nicomouse, angry at the hidden insult.
"I will," said the figure as it stepped into the sunlight.
COMMERCIAL!!
(I'm just getting ready for the "Zebra-Man TV Hour." It shoud be airing soon. Check your newpaper for local listings.)
"No way!" cried Skunk Boy, DalmatiHonn, and Trevor the Lemur. Cali had whimpered and crawled behing Tai.
It was Piginny.
"Yes, it's true: said Piginny. "And I'm not alone."
The team gaped as Skaylee also came up to join Piginny.
"Th.. this isn't... how could this...?" sputtered DalmatiHonn.
"We won this fight once, we can win it again!" said Skunk Boy bravely.
"Yes, but before you do, there's something you should know," said Piginny. "We're good now!"
"What?!" said all of the characters again (even Panda Jr.).
"Yeah, sorry about the creepy entrance, it's all part of this stupid "Zebra-Man TV Hour" thing. We couldn't just say it and save you all the suspense."
"How can we believe you?" asked Trevor the Lemur.
"Check this out," said Piginny, and then there was a 45 second montage of Piginny and Skaylee helping in a community garden, reading to underpriveleged youth, and feeding the homeless (it's cooler on TV).
"I'm convinced," said Penguin G.
"Why is no one we thought was dead actually dead!?" asked Skunk Boy.
"Two reasonsss," said Skaylee, "One, in all great literature, and made for TV short stories, no one actually dies. Look it up. Two, there is an ancient legend among whales, that if a whale sacrifices his life for his friends, then he will become one with the spirit of Keiko, and because Keiko can never die, the whale and the friends he saved can return and live again. Look it up."
"So if you are back, and Zebrs Man and Penguin Guy are back, where are..."
"Hey, we're still good!" said Mary the Goose and James the Killer Whale (in a nearby pond). They had kind of missed their cue. DK the Rock said: "The crafty rabbit has three different entrances to its lair."
And they all laughed.
"What about Smitty the Kitty (the lemur)," asked Trevor the Lemur (the cat).
"He's in his room," said Piginny. "We'll worry about that later. What should we do now?"
"Let's go to Der. This is fun and all, but I still dn't have a mirror," said Nicmous.
And they all laughed, while the fifteen of them walked, flew, crawled, swam, slithered, scurried, and however-DK-the-Rock-moved (without Zebra Man's fannypack) on towards the Land of Der.
D End
In C Story (the sequel to B story and prequel to D story, if you were wondering), Gregle the Eagle and Lenny the Cow/Pig continued their journey to the land of Wolley to find a mystical power that will help them defeat evil. Along the way:
^The characters conversed, and Fond Memories were laughed at.
^Cali accidentally(?) found the land of Wolley by eating some Snodgrass.
^After eating Snodgrass themselves, the others joined her and climbed a large snowy mountain while having a Joyful Time.
^At the top, the group discovered a cave which contained a stone statues of a large penguin and panda.
^The panda and penguin (and tiny mouse) were brought to life, bringing the current crime-fighting team up to 10 animals: Gregle the Eagle, Lenny the Cow/Pig, Trevor the Lemur, Skunk Boy, DalmatiHonn, Cali, Panda Jr., Tai the Panda, the Penguin-G, and Nicomouse.
And now, the moment you hadn't been waiting for until now...
D'Story.
With the appearence of three new animals, very closely resembling their old friends, the team thought it would be worthwhile to listen to what the newbies had to say. And the rest is his story (actually, thier story, but that is not a clever play on words).
"Well, one day I was watching myself flex in the mirror," began Nicomous, "but I can't get up high enough to see in the mirror, because I am so small..."
"So he came to ask us to lift him up," interupted Penguin G, "like we usually do, but when we got to the bathroom..."
"The mirror was gone!" squeked Nicomous with such excitement that he toppled over.
"Right. Then Tai told us: 'There is an ancient Panda-legend among pandas that there is one ancient panda, who lives atop Panda Mountain at the center of Panda Forest, and his knowledge is the greatest among all pandas. Maybe he could help us.'"
"I did say that," said Tai.
"That sounds familiar," thought the other 7 characters.
"So we began to head to Panda Forest, which is a long long way from Worshington," continued Penguin G.
"You mean Washington?" asked Gregle.
"Right, that's what I said. Worshinton. W-A-S-H-I-N-G-T-O-N. Moving on, we were on our way but got into a fight on the way with some nasty weevils."
"It was pretty cool though," said Nicomous, "so cool, it should be described in third-person."
The Fight:
Nicomous, Penguin G, and Tai the Panda were walking down a street when the heard the ominous sound of something weevil-y. Nicomous sprang into action, sinking his tiny mouth teeth into th nearest weevil, which is nasty, because weevils are gross bugs, if you didn't know. But he did it anyway because it was a fight and now his side was winning. Penguin G got a running start and, sliding on his belly like a kid on a waterslide, bowled down numerous weevils. Tai the panda took a big bite of rice (Tai the Panda got his strength from eating rice, not bamboo) and then unleashed a massive panda punch that completely vaporized the nearest weevil. And that is what happened.
"It was awesome," continued Nicomous. "And then this Zebra and Penguin came down and started talking to us, saying how cool the fight was and how they fight crime, and..."
"WHAT?!" exclaimed 5 of the animals. Cali had just barked, and Panda Jr. had made a funny noise, that kind of sounded like "what?!" but nobody was really quite sure.
"Yeah a Zebra. I think his name was Zebra-Man, and the Penguin was..."
"Penguin Guy," said Penguin G. "I don't know why I remembered it.
"There is no way that was Zebra-Man! We saw him at the castle, after it had been crushed. It can't have been him," concluded Trevor the Lemur.
"How many zebras do you know that fight crime?" asked Tai.
"None,: the five answered.
"I mean, how many zebras do you know that THINK they can fight crime?"
"Just one," said DalmatiHonn. "It must have been him."
To ruin the suspense, it had been him. And Penguin Guy. And after meeting Tai, Nicomous, and the Penguin G, the five of them continued to Panda Mountain, which is where ZebraMan and Penguin Guy had been headed anyway, because they were hoping that the ancient panda could give them some insight on why it seemed that evil had returned. When they reached the mountain, they found the ancient panda and asked him for advice. Being old and crazy, the ancient panda had mistaken them for a group of cow/pigs, and delivered the same prophecy that Eads had given to Gregle and Lenny in A Story.
"I dont see how this wil get our mirror back," said Nicomous sullenly, but they decided to split up, with the three newbie heading to Wolley while Zebra Man and Penguin Guy would go to the reputably more dangerous Der, due to their years of experience.
"So we came this far," said Penguin G, "because Tai accidentally ate some Snodgrass, and we came into this cave and then magically got turned into stone."
"You came here to look for a power that will unite the new and old, and turned into stone, thereby becoming the new power we were sent to find? Wow, you literally self-fulfilled that prophecy," said Skunk Boy (and that is where the expression comes from. The more you know.)
"I guess so," said Tai. "But now that you found us, shouldn't we go look for Zebra Man and Penguin Guy?"
"Yeah, we have to," said Lenny. "We were going to Der anyway, and they must be the old power we have to find!"
"First though," said DalmatiHonn, "I'm tired of just journeying and never fighting, like in the good ole days. Plus we need to work together as a team, and see what the baby Panda can do. Let's go pone some Nubians."
So they traveled to Nubia, which is en route to Der (get a map), and found a shady looking neighborhood. Nubians are not to be confused with Nubians, which are a group of people near Egypt (I have to keep all my media/endorsement options open). The Nubians in this story are very Angry and Disagreeable Bears, and they are mean and if they have a choice, prefer to make the more evil and less good choice. And as our good guys approached, the fight began.
Another Fight:
It had been awhile since their last fight, but the team wa motivated by the hope of reuniting with their old friends and fixing the evils of Pandora's Box. Cali and DalmatiHonn lulled the Nubians into a false sense of security by rolling on their backs, while Trevor the Lemur purred and rubbed against their legs. This sentimental moment was broken by a belly-sliding Penguin G, who bowled over most of the awe-struck Nubians. This started the all-out brawl. Gregle the Eagle attacked with his razor sharp talons, while Nicomous, perched on Lenny's shoulders, was punching them in the jeans. Skunk Boy had a newfound talent, one that went beyond scratching at bad guy's feet. This time, he also scratched their shins and calves. While Tai held up Nubians, Panda Jr. knocked them to the ground, while laughing hysterically. And this process continued. So went the first battle against the Nubians, and their first battle together.
Afterwards, while recapping the high points of the battle play-by-play, the team was surprised to see another figure begin to emerge from a shadow, slowly clapping.
"Well done. I'm surprised you newbs still have what it takes to take on those Nubians."
"Say that again to our face!" yelled Nicomouse, angry at the hidden insult.
"I will," said the figure as it stepped into the sunlight.
COMMERCIAL!!
(I'm just getting ready for the "Zebra-Man TV Hour." It shoud be airing soon. Check your newpaper for local listings.)
"No way!" cried Skunk Boy, DalmatiHonn, and Trevor the Lemur. Cali had whimpered and crawled behing Tai.
It was Piginny.
"Yes, it's true: said Piginny. "And I'm not alone."
The team gaped as Skaylee also came up to join Piginny.
"Th.. this isn't... how could this...?" sputtered DalmatiHonn.
"We won this fight once, we can win it again!" said Skunk Boy bravely.
"Yes, but before you do, there's something you should know," said Piginny. "We're good now!"
"What?!" said all of the characters again (even Panda Jr.).
"Yeah, sorry about the creepy entrance, it's all part of this stupid "Zebra-Man TV Hour" thing. We couldn't just say it and save you all the suspense."
"How can we believe you?" asked Trevor the Lemur.
"Check this out," said Piginny, and then there was a 45 second montage of Piginny and Skaylee helping in a community garden, reading to underpriveleged youth, and feeding the homeless (it's cooler on TV).
"I'm convinced," said Penguin G.
"Why is no one we thought was dead actually dead!?" asked Skunk Boy.
"Two reasonsss," said Skaylee, "One, in all great literature, and made for TV short stories, no one actually dies. Look it up. Two, there is an ancient legend among whales, that if a whale sacrifices his life for his friends, then he will become one with the spirit of Keiko, and because Keiko can never die, the whale and the friends he saved can return and live again. Look it up."
"So if you are back, and Zebrs Man and Penguin Guy are back, where are..."
"Hey, we're still good!" said Mary the Goose and James the Killer Whale (in a nearby pond). They had kind of missed their cue. DK the Rock said: "The crafty rabbit has three different entrances to its lair."
And they all laughed.
"What about Smitty the Kitty (the lemur)," asked Trevor the Lemur (the cat).
"He's in his room," said Piginny. "We'll worry about that later. What should we do now?"
"Let's go to Der. This is fun and all, but I still dn't have a mirror," said Nicmous.
And they all laughed, while the fifteen of them walked, flew, crawled, swam, slithered, scurried, and however-DK-the-Rock-moved (without Zebra Man's fannypack) on towards the Land of Der.
D End
