Monday, July 10, 2006
The Not-Quite-As-Anticipated Chapter 5
Hi everybody! Here is Chapter 5, five months earlier than expected! Hopefully something somewhat exciting will happen, because apparently Chapter 4 didn't have enough of that and made some people were angry.
It's time for the story re-cap! Hooray! This time we'll use the pigeon-style letter style format.
A. Zebra-Man realized he never does anything helpful and sulked, penguin guy realized he couldn't fly and sulked, and Eads the Panda was hit in the face by a bird (again), and sulked.
B. Piginny finally came back from Hawaii. However, if she keeps insulting the Italian soccer team she may be heading back... permanently.
C. Eads the Panda punched a big hole in a cliff and found a secret passageway to the Evil Scorpion King's castle.
Well, I guess that's all that happened. That was kind of a lame chapter, wasn't it? I'll try to do better this time...
CHAPTER 5...
As the dust settled from the big hole that Eads the Panda had just punched in the cliff, Zebra-Man sneezed.
"Let it out!" said Mary the Goose.
"I'm trying!" said Zebra-Man.
"How is this even relevant to the story!?" asked Penguin Guy.
"Good Point Penguin Guy" said Zebra-Man. "Lets continue with the story so people don't get angry again."
So the crime fighting team stepped into the dark cave, deep beneath the Evil Scorpion King's castle. As they went on, the path split into two paths.
"uh-oh" said Eads the Panda, "there are two paths. I guess we'll have to split up"
So Zebra-Man and Penguin Guy went one direction, and Eads the Panda went with Piginny and Mary the Goose in the other direction.
(I don't know how to tell two stories at the same time, so we'll start with Zebra-man and Penguin Guy, and then backtrack to the others)
Zebra-Man and Penguin Guy were walking along the path, when Penguin Guy said, "Do you realize how lame it is that I'm a bird and can't fly?"
"Why do we have to talk about this again?" said ZebraMan, "Can't we just do something meaningful with this story?"
Little did ZebraMan know that there was a point to Penguin Guy's incessant complaining about not flying, because as they walked down there path they suddenly saw a light up ahead, coming from a mysterious room. They walked into the room, and on a pedastal in the center they saw a glowing red cape. There was a sign next to the cape that said "This cape will help you fly" Penguin Guy was filled with glee and reached out to grab hold of the cape.
"Wait a minute!" said ZebraMan. "what are the odds that you would want to fly, and we would happen to find a cape in this dark cave?"
Despite ZebraMan's uncannily correct suspicions of the cape, Penguin Guy reached out and grabbed it. As he did so, a large iron cage dropped down from the ceiling, trapping him and zebra-Man inside of it, and began lifting them up towards the evil scorpion king's castle.
"Whoops" said Penguin Guy.
"Yeah, nice move." said Zebra Man. "Wait a minute! I figured something out that wasn't simply told to us by the narrator! I knew that cape was a trap, and there wasn't even an incredibly obvious mention of it! I guess sometimes I do have helpful contributions to this story!"
"Good point" said Penguin Guy. "And check it out... this cape still helps me fly. You think that if they were setting up a trap they could have just used a fake cape, but they used a real one! Now I can fly!!"
So despite being stuck in a giant iron cage with little or no hope, both ZebraMan and Penguin Guy were happy because they had finally acheived their goals. Hooray for acheiving goals! But not hooray for giant iron cages.
Meanwhile, Eads, Mary and Piginny were going through something very similar. They saw a room with a mysterious light, and when they went inside they saw a pedestal, and on it was a motorcycle helmet. Next to it was a sign that said "This helmet will protect your face" Eads the Panda really wanted the helmet, but Piginny said, "Wait a minute. What are the odds that you would be continually hit in the face by birds and would want a helmet, and then we would find one?"
But Eads took hold of the helmet anyway, and a large iron cage came down, trapping him, Piginny, and Mary the Goose inside.
"Whoops" said Eads the Panda. "But at least this helmet protects me from birds hitting my face."
So Piginny and Mary the goose practiced hitting Eads in the face, but his helmet successfully protected him, so he was happy, despite the fact that he was being carried up towards the castle in an iron cage.
This would be a great suspenseful point to stop telling the story and wait until Chapter 6, but I'm not going to do that...
Both cages finally reached their destinations, and both groups found themselves next to each other in the Evil scorpion kings throne room.
"Wow" said Mary the goose, "we are not a very awesome crime-fighting team. Both of our groups got caught in giant cages. You guys are lame."
Zebra-Man was just about to say a witty comeback, but then the castle began to shake.
"Good thing I don't have to think of a witty comeback now" said Zebraman.
The doors burst open and the Scorpion King himself walked in.
"HAHAHA" he said maliciously. "My clever traps caught you in the 'secret passageway.' Did you really think I would have a secret passageway that led right to my castle? You must be reading ridiculously simple and obvious stories! Now you can witness my evil plan into affect. I have been creating lots of evil bad guys here in Canada, because pretty much no one lives here and won't notice. Soon I will unleash my evil plan... which is to capture all of the world's puppies! HAHAHA. Then I will make sure that zebra's, panda's, penguin's, pigeon's, and goose's all go extinct! Man, there are a lot of you. If I was the narrator I never would have had that many characters."
"Oh No!" Eads said, "this guy is capable of outhinking the narrator! We're dead! And there will be no more puppies! Woe is me!"
The narrator then realized that Eads was right, and went to go ask for ideas. And then he got some. Hooray ideas!
"Remember back in Chapter 2, when we united to form a giant Siberian Tiger! Let's do that again" said Zebra-Man.
"Okay," said Eads the panda, "and this time we have Piginny and Mary the Goose, too."
So they all united, and summoned... A FLYING SIBERIAN TIGER (FROM SIBERIA!)!
He crashed into the castle and tood in front of the Scorpion King.
"Blast!" said the scorpion King. "Your narrator resorted to old tricks with a new twist to challenge me! I guess an epic battle is about to begin!"
And begin it did...*Note* the following paragraph describes an epic battle between two imaginary animals. Rated PG-13 for epicness, unbelievability, and silliness. You have been warned
SCORPION KING (of Canada) vs. FLYING SIBERIAN TIGER (of Siberia)
The scorpion king began by shooting his evil rays of evil at the tiger, who was able to deflect them with his shield of goodness.
The tiger then leapt at the scorpion, but the scorpion king dodged him and stabbed him with his stinger. (gasp). The tiger stumbled a little bit, but mustered up his energy and headbutted the scorpion King in the chest, breaking all of his ribs and earning himself a red card. Luckily for the tiger, there wasn't a penalty shootout, and instead the scorpion king surrendered. (VIVA ITALIA)
"Hooray" all of the animals shouted in unison (not including the scorpion, who was gasping for air on the ground.
"Crime doesn't pay" said Zebra Man.
Then all of the haiku singing scorpions began to sing a different haiku.
"Our King is dead now, his evil plans are done now, we will love puppies"
"hooray" shouted all of the animals again!
Then thousands of small puppies ran into the room to thank them, by licking their faces and rolling around on the ground. (awww)
However, one of the puppies ( a small dalmation) wasn't celebrating. He came up to Eads the Panda and said "Hi big panda. My name is DalmatiHonn (dal-ma-shi-honn) the dalmation. I read about you guys online and decided I want to form a crime fighting team. So I was talking to my friend James the Killer Whale, but he was captured by the Menacing Monkey of all that is Malicious. I need your help to rescue him."
"Okay" they all said, and they set off after DalmatiHonn to go save James the Killer Whale. (Not including the tiger, who went back to Siberia). Zebra_man, DalmatiHonn, and Eads the Panda were carried away by the new and improved flying Penguin Guy, Piginny, and Mary the Goose.
This chapter marks the end of the first book, "The Evil Scorpion King of all that is Evil" The next book, entitled "The Menacing Monkey of all that is Malicious" is coming soon.
Also, a full-length motion picture of Book 1 is in the works, so stay tuned.
THE END
It's time for the story re-cap! Hooray! This time we'll use the pigeon-style letter style format.
A. Zebra-Man realized he never does anything helpful and sulked, penguin guy realized he couldn't fly and sulked, and Eads the Panda was hit in the face by a bird (again), and sulked.
B. Piginny finally came back from Hawaii. However, if she keeps insulting the Italian soccer team she may be heading back... permanently.
C. Eads the Panda punched a big hole in a cliff and found a secret passageway to the Evil Scorpion King's castle.
Well, I guess that's all that happened. That was kind of a lame chapter, wasn't it? I'll try to do better this time...
CHAPTER 5...
As the dust settled from the big hole that Eads the Panda had just punched in the cliff, Zebra-Man sneezed.
"Let it out!" said Mary the Goose.
"I'm trying!" said Zebra-Man.
"How is this even relevant to the story!?" asked Penguin Guy.
"Good Point Penguin Guy" said Zebra-Man. "Lets continue with the story so people don't get angry again."
So the crime fighting team stepped into the dark cave, deep beneath the Evil Scorpion King's castle. As they went on, the path split into two paths.
"uh-oh" said Eads the Panda, "there are two paths. I guess we'll have to split up"
So Zebra-Man and Penguin Guy went one direction, and Eads the Panda went with Piginny and Mary the Goose in the other direction.
(I don't know how to tell two stories at the same time, so we'll start with Zebra-man and Penguin Guy, and then backtrack to the others)
Zebra-Man and Penguin Guy were walking along the path, when Penguin Guy said, "Do you realize how lame it is that I'm a bird and can't fly?"
"Why do we have to talk about this again?" said ZebraMan, "Can't we just do something meaningful with this story?"
Little did ZebraMan know that there was a point to Penguin Guy's incessant complaining about not flying, because as they walked down there path they suddenly saw a light up ahead, coming from a mysterious room. They walked into the room, and on a pedastal in the center they saw a glowing red cape. There was a sign next to the cape that said "This cape will help you fly" Penguin Guy was filled with glee and reached out to grab hold of the cape.
"Wait a minute!" said ZebraMan. "what are the odds that you would want to fly, and we would happen to find a cape in this dark cave?"
Despite ZebraMan's uncannily correct suspicions of the cape, Penguin Guy reached out and grabbed it. As he did so, a large iron cage dropped down from the ceiling, trapping him and zebra-Man inside of it, and began lifting them up towards the evil scorpion king's castle.
"Whoops" said Penguin Guy.
"Yeah, nice move." said Zebra Man. "Wait a minute! I figured something out that wasn't simply told to us by the narrator! I knew that cape was a trap, and there wasn't even an incredibly obvious mention of it! I guess sometimes I do have helpful contributions to this story!"
"Good point" said Penguin Guy. "And check it out... this cape still helps me fly. You think that if they were setting up a trap they could have just used a fake cape, but they used a real one! Now I can fly!!"
So despite being stuck in a giant iron cage with little or no hope, both ZebraMan and Penguin Guy were happy because they had finally acheived their goals. Hooray for acheiving goals! But not hooray for giant iron cages.
Meanwhile, Eads, Mary and Piginny were going through something very similar. They saw a room with a mysterious light, and when they went inside they saw a pedestal, and on it was a motorcycle helmet. Next to it was a sign that said "This helmet will protect your face" Eads the Panda really wanted the helmet, but Piginny said, "Wait a minute. What are the odds that you would be continually hit in the face by birds and would want a helmet, and then we would find one?"
But Eads took hold of the helmet anyway, and a large iron cage came down, trapping him, Piginny, and Mary the Goose inside.
"Whoops" said Eads the Panda. "But at least this helmet protects me from birds hitting my face."
So Piginny and Mary the goose practiced hitting Eads in the face, but his helmet successfully protected him, so he was happy, despite the fact that he was being carried up towards the castle in an iron cage.
This would be a great suspenseful point to stop telling the story and wait until Chapter 6, but I'm not going to do that...
Both cages finally reached their destinations, and both groups found themselves next to each other in the Evil scorpion kings throne room.
"Wow" said Mary the goose, "we are not a very awesome crime-fighting team. Both of our groups got caught in giant cages. You guys are lame."
Zebra-Man was just about to say a witty comeback, but then the castle began to shake.
"Good thing I don't have to think of a witty comeback now" said Zebraman.
The doors burst open and the Scorpion King himself walked in.
"HAHAHA" he said maliciously. "My clever traps caught you in the 'secret passageway.' Did you really think I would have a secret passageway that led right to my castle? You must be reading ridiculously simple and obvious stories! Now you can witness my evil plan into affect. I have been creating lots of evil bad guys here in Canada, because pretty much no one lives here and won't notice. Soon I will unleash my evil plan... which is to capture all of the world's puppies! HAHAHA. Then I will make sure that zebra's, panda's, penguin's, pigeon's, and goose's all go extinct! Man, there are a lot of you. If I was the narrator I never would have had that many characters."
"Oh No!" Eads said, "this guy is capable of outhinking the narrator! We're dead! And there will be no more puppies! Woe is me!"
The narrator then realized that Eads was right, and went to go ask for ideas. And then he got some. Hooray ideas!
"Remember back in Chapter 2, when we united to form a giant Siberian Tiger! Let's do that again" said Zebra-Man.
"Okay," said Eads the panda, "and this time we have Piginny and Mary the Goose, too."
So they all united, and summoned... A FLYING SIBERIAN TIGER (FROM SIBERIA!)!
He crashed into the castle and tood in front of the Scorpion King.
"Blast!" said the scorpion King. "Your narrator resorted to old tricks with a new twist to challenge me! I guess an epic battle is about to begin!"
And begin it did...*Note* the following paragraph describes an epic battle between two imaginary animals. Rated PG-13 for epicness, unbelievability, and silliness. You have been warned
SCORPION KING (of Canada) vs. FLYING SIBERIAN TIGER (of Siberia)
The scorpion king began by shooting his evil rays of evil at the tiger, who was able to deflect them with his shield of goodness.
The tiger then leapt at the scorpion, but the scorpion king dodged him and stabbed him with his stinger. (gasp). The tiger stumbled a little bit, but mustered up his energy and headbutted the scorpion King in the chest, breaking all of his ribs and earning himself a red card. Luckily for the tiger, there wasn't a penalty shootout, and instead the scorpion king surrendered. (VIVA ITALIA)
"Hooray" all of the animals shouted in unison (not including the scorpion, who was gasping for air on the ground.
"Crime doesn't pay" said Zebra Man.
Then all of the haiku singing scorpions began to sing a different haiku.
"Our King is dead now, his evil plans are done now, we will love puppies"
"hooray" shouted all of the animals again!
Then thousands of small puppies ran into the room to thank them, by licking their faces and rolling around on the ground. (awww)
However, one of the puppies ( a small dalmation) wasn't celebrating. He came up to Eads the Panda and said "Hi big panda. My name is DalmatiHonn (dal-ma-shi-honn) the dalmation. I read about you guys online and decided I want to form a crime fighting team. So I was talking to my friend James the Killer Whale, but he was captured by the Menacing Monkey of all that is Malicious. I need your help to rescue him."
"Okay" they all said, and they set off after DalmatiHonn to go save James the Killer Whale. (Not including the tiger, who went back to Siberia). Zebra_man, DalmatiHonn, and Eads the Panda were carried away by the new and improved flying Penguin Guy, Piginny, and Mary the Goose.
This chapter marks the end of the first book, "The Evil Scorpion King of all that is Evil" The next book, entitled "The Menacing Monkey of all that is Malicious" is coming soon.
Also, a full-length motion picture of Book 1 is in the works, so stay tuned.
THE END
# adventure retold by Schrieber : 7:50 PM
Comments:
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Ginny, you are sooooo close to being removed from the crime fighting team. Although I wouldn't be completely crushed, you may have a few fans out there, and I would hate to dissapoint them.
maybe i am just seeing how far i can go david without getting thrown off. but how come you haven't threatened aaron, he agreed with me... but i think you have to agree david that that italian dude zidane headbutted had it coming.
actually jay you may have something there. they do "cheek butt" each other every time they greet each other in france... so zidane could have just gotten confused with his custom and didn't know how to properly greet that italian, so he just head butted him. maybe that was just good bye. sorry if i ruined the joke jay. it was unintentional.
merci jay. actually my real name in french in virginie, but genie is quite nice as well, very close to my nickname, ginie.
david, i just reread your comment about me being close to being thrown off the team.... i have fans?!?!?!?! woopee!!!!
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