Sunday, August 13, 2006
The Menacing Monkey of all that is Malicious (Chapter 1)
Introduction:
This story marks the beginning of the new Zebra-Man book. Filled with drama, adventure, and way too many new characters, hopefully this book can continue to change lives around the globe, by destorying assumptions about what talking animals can and can't do, and continuing to give zebras hope that they do have a purpose (although I haven't yet discovered what that is). If you know any zebras that struggle with self-esteem, please share these stories with them, and introduce me to them, because I have never met a zebra, let alone a zebra capable of having self-esteem issues. Likewise, any penguins that dream of one day flying, or pandas that struggle with weight issues, may benefit from these stories. Evil pigeons seeking to abandon their past life of evil, or Canadian geese that struggle with the validity of their homeland can finally find characters they can relate to. Enjoy!
Recap:
Using the never before seen "random-symbol goose method" format, lets recap the story:
! With the help of the head-butting Siberian tiger (not to be confused with the head-butting French soccer player) the good guys defeating the Evil scorpion king of all that is evil.
@ Penguin Guy found a cape to help him fly, which is cool because now he can fly, whereas prior to finding the cape he couldn't, because penguins can't usually fly.
# The team added a new member, DalmatiHonn, after rescuing him and thousands of other puppies from the scorpion king.
$ DalmatiHonn told the team that his friend James the Killer Whale was being held captive by the menacing monkey of all that is malicious.
Book 2, Chapter 1:
After being carried away from the evil Scorpion King's castle, the team decided to have a team meeting to decide what to do next.
"Where is James the Killer Whale?" Zebra-man asked DalmatiHonn.
"I don't know, but probably Hawaii."
"Why Hawaii?" asked Piginny.
"Look, we can argue about where he is or we can assume that he is at the first place we guess he is, because this story has to make progress at some point, and there is no logical way to figure out where he is, so we might as well go to Hawaii"
None of the characters could argue with DalmatiHonn's argument, so they decided to go to Hawaii.
"To the penguin-mobile!" yelled Mary the Goose, "because I am not carrying you guys all the way to Hawaii."
"No way!" said Eads, "Do you have any idea how expensive the gas would be!?!
"Okay," said Zebra-Man, "We can't fly there, and we can't take the penguin-mobile, so there is only one thing left to do. We have to sit here and wait for something magical to happen."
So they sat and waited. And waited. And waited.
Finally, dalmatiHonn said "Wait a minute! Haven't you guys ever heard the legend of Keiko the Whale"
"No. And isn't Keiko dead?" said Penguin Guy
"No, Keiko lives!" yelled Zebra-Man, "Viva Keiko! Yay!!!"
"Are you done?" Piginny asked Zebra-Man.
"Yes" said Zebra-Man.
"Anyway," DalmatiHonn continued "There is an ancient legend among dalmation's like myself, that if you are in trouble you can call upon Keiko the whale and he will help you out. All you have to do is say 'Keiko, come help us'".
So they all said, "Keiko, come help us," and a mystical killer whale appeared in the ocean and swam up to them. It then emitted a frightening screeching noise, because although Keiko is a mystical non-dying animal, he still can't talk, and sounds like a whale. But, regardless of his inability to talk, he instinctively knew that the team wanted to go to Hawaii, because whales can sense things like that.
Upon arriving in Hawaii, and waving goodbye to Keiko, Zebra-man was walking up the beach when he stubbed his toe on a rock, and promptly said, Ow!
"Ow!" said Zebra-Man.
Then, to his surprise, he looked down and saw a rock looking back up at him. (I understand that rocks don't have faces and can't really look, but if you are able to accept that there are talking animals you can accept that there are rocks with faces).
He said, "My name is DK the rock, and apart from telling you my name and explaining this to you, I can only speak in ancient proverbs."
"Well, you're pretty useless then, aren't you" said Piginny as she scoffed at the rock.
DK the rock looked at her and said "Not the cry, but the flight of the wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow."
"Oh, I was wrong, you are very useful" said Piginny.
Zebra-man decided that the rock may eventually prove useful, or he wouldn't have entered the story, so he picked him up and put him in his fannypack. (yes, zebra's wear fannypacks... and they are really cool because of it).
DK said, "Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat."
"You're welcome" said Zebra-Man.
So now with the addition of a new character, the team was ready to move on in the story. In Piginny's past experiences as a spy in Hawaii she had discovered some questionable locations where evil monkeys may build hide outs and hide killer whales. One of these spots was a dark and sinister building along the coast, which seems an obvious choice for a place to hide a killer whale if you are an evil monkey.
"Okay, here's the plan... Penguin Guy, Mary the Goose, and Piginny will try to fly into the castle from above. Meanwhile, Eads, DalmatiHonn, and I will go up to the front gate and hope it's unlocked," explanied Zebra-Man.
(Again I will employ the split story technique to explain everything that happens)
Our flying friends carefully flew over the front wall as soon as it was dark. As soon as they cleared the wall they were face to face with 300 lemurs.
"Oh No!" Penguin Guy yelled, "they must have known we were coming! I hope that Zebra-Man, Eads, and DalmatiHonn don't get caught, or we are in big trouble!"
So Penguin guy, Piginny, and Mary the goose were all carried away to big cages.
Meanwhile, the other group was having much better luck. Upon opening the front door (which was unlocked) they were on their way to the king's room. Once there, they saw all of their friends in cages and a giant lemur sitting in a throne.
"Wait a minute... this story if about the menacing monkey of all that is malicious, not the loser lemur of all that is lame" said Zebra-man
"Nice work with the spontaneous alliteration" said Eads.
"HAHAHA" laughed the lemur. "I work for the malicious monkey. I guard his prisoners here. And i cleverly captured half of your group!"
"yeah, but the other half walked straight in" pointed out dalmatiHonn.
"That is only because i didn't think anyone would be stupid enough to walk in through the front door. that backfired" said the Lemur King. "Enough chatting, let us duel!"
So, yet another epic battle began.
Zebra-man, eads, and DalmatiHonn were doing alright, but they couldn't handle all of the lemurs that surrounded them. Then the caged flying animals noticed a lemur standing near them, but he was mumbling so they couldn't understand him.
"Speak Up" said piginny.
"Oh, sorry" said the lemur. "i was just explaining that i wanted to help you guys out of here."
"No," said Piginny, "I wanted to be the only character that was once bad and then became good. You are stealing my thunder!"
"Fine, I won't help"
"No, wait" interjected Penguin Guy, "you should help us anyway. I'm Penguin Guy, what's your name?"
"I'm Smitty the kitty. I know it doesn't make sense because I'm a lemur, but they named me wrong as a joke, and because it rhymes. I'm really bitter about it, which is why I want to help you"
He then released them and they all joined the fight. Zebra-man suddenly had an idea. he unzipped his fannypack and threw DK the rock at the Lemur King. it hit him in the head and fell into his hand. the lemur King looked down and DK said "Your answers lie within, The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones." The Lemur king was so confused that he ordered the fighting to stop while he pondered DK's words. As he was pondering, he received a sharp kick from Zebra-Man, a panda-power punch from Eads, a sharp beak peck from Piginny and Mary the Goose, a bite from DalmatiHonn, a wing smack from Penguin guy, a lemur-karate chop from Smitty the Kitty, and a roundhouse kick to the face from Chuck Norris... all at the same time. He then exploded into a thousand pieces, because no lemur can bear that much pain.
The new and improved crime-fighting team, with Smitty the kitty (the lemur) then went to rescue James the Killer whale.
"Thank you for saving me. Now I can help out your team, as long as you are near water. Yay!!!"
Dk looked at him and said "A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows the public opinion."
Then the entire team threw their heads back and laughed. "Ha ha ha" giggled Zebra-man.
but had the team known what dark and dangerous road lay ahead for them, their laughter would have been short lived. But instead, they laughed a really long time.
To be continued....
This story marks the beginning of the new Zebra-Man book. Filled with drama, adventure, and way too many new characters, hopefully this book can continue to change lives around the globe, by destorying assumptions about what talking animals can and can't do, and continuing to give zebras hope that they do have a purpose (although I haven't yet discovered what that is). If you know any zebras that struggle with self-esteem, please share these stories with them, and introduce me to them, because I have never met a zebra, let alone a zebra capable of having self-esteem issues. Likewise, any penguins that dream of one day flying, or pandas that struggle with weight issues, may benefit from these stories. Evil pigeons seeking to abandon their past life of evil, or Canadian geese that struggle with the validity of their homeland can finally find characters they can relate to. Enjoy!
Recap:
Using the never before seen "random-symbol goose method" format, lets recap the story:
! With the help of the head-butting Siberian tiger (not to be confused with the head-butting French soccer player) the good guys defeating the Evil scorpion king of all that is evil.
@ Penguin Guy found a cape to help him fly, which is cool because now he can fly, whereas prior to finding the cape he couldn't, because penguins can't usually fly.
# The team added a new member, DalmatiHonn, after rescuing him and thousands of other puppies from the scorpion king.
$ DalmatiHonn told the team that his friend James the Killer Whale was being held captive by the menacing monkey of all that is malicious.
Book 2, Chapter 1:
After being carried away from the evil Scorpion King's castle, the team decided to have a team meeting to decide what to do next.
"Where is James the Killer Whale?" Zebra-man asked DalmatiHonn.
"I don't know, but probably Hawaii."
"Why Hawaii?" asked Piginny.
"Look, we can argue about where he is or we can assume that he is at the first place we guess he is, because this story has to make progress at some point, and there is no logical way to figure out where he is, so we might as well go to Hawaii"
None of the characters could argue with DalmatiHonn's argument, so they decided to go to Hawaii.
"To the penguin-mobile!" yelled Mary the Goose, "because I am not carrying you guys all the way to Hawaii."
"No way!" said Eads, "Do you have any idea how expensive the gas would be!?!
"Okay," said Zebra-Man, "We can't fly there, and we can't take the penguin-mobile, so there is only one thing left to do. We have to sit here and wait for something magical to happen."
So they sat and waited. And waited. And waited.
Finally, dalmatiHonn said "Wait a minute! Haven't you guys ever heard the legend of Keiko the Whale"
"No. And isn't Keiko dead?" said Penguin Guy
"No, Keiko lives!" yelled Zebra-Man, "Viva Keiko! Yay!!!"
"Are you done?" Piginny asked Zebra-Man.
"Yes" said Zebra-Man.
"Anyway," DalmatiHonn continued "There is an ancient legend among dalmation's like myself, that if you are in trouble you can call upon Keiko the whale and he will help you out. All you have to do is say 'Keiko, come help us'".
So they all said, "Keiko, come help us," and a mystical killer whale appeared in the ocean and swam up to them. It then emitted a frightening screeching noise, because although Keiko is a mystical non-dying animal, he still can't talk, and sounds like a whale. But, regardless of his inability to talk, he instinctively knew that the team wanted to go to Hawaii, because whales can sense things like that.
Upon arriving in Hawaii, and waving goodbye to Keiko, Zebra-man was walking up the beach when he stubbed his toe on a rock, and promptly said, Ow!
"Ow!" said Zebra-Man.
Then, to his surprise, he looked down and saw a rock looking back up at him. (I understand that rocks don't have faces and can't really look, but if you are able to accept that there are talking animals you can accept that there are rocks with faces).
He said, "My name is DK the rock, and apart from telling you my name and explaining this to you, I can only speak in ancient proverbs."
"Well, you're pretty useless then, aren't you" said Piginny as she scoffed at the rock.
DK the rock looked at her and said "Not the cry, but the flight of the wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow."
"Oh, I was wrong, you are very useful" said Piginny.
Zebra-man decided that the rock may eventually prove useful, or he wouldn't have entered the story, so he picked him up and put him in his fannypack. (yes, zebra's wear fannypacks... and they are really cool because of it).
DK said, "Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat."
"You're welcome" said Zebra-Man.
So now with the addition of a new character, the team was ready to move on in the story. In Piginny's past experiences as a spy in Hawaii she had discovered some questionable locations where evil monkeys may build hide outs and hide killer whales. One of these spots was a dark and sinister building along the coast, which seems an obvious choice for a place to hide a killer whale if you are an evil monkey.
"Okay, here's the plan... Penguin Guy, Mary the Goose, and Piginny will try to fly into the castle from above. Meanwhile, Eads, DalmatiHonn, and I will go up to the front gate and hope it's unlocked," explanied Zebra-Man.
(Again I will employ the split story technique to explain everything that happens)
Our flying friends carefully flew over the front wall as soon as it was dark. As soon as they cleared the wall they were face to face with 300 lemurs.
"Oh No!" Penguin Guy yelled, "they must have known we were coming! I hope that Zebra-Man, Eads, and DalmatiHonn don't get caught, or we are in big trouble!"
So Penguin guy, Piginny, and Mary the goose were all carried away to big cages.
Meanwhile, the other group was having much better luck. Upon opening the front door (which was unlocked) they were on their way to the king's room. Once there, they saw all of their friends in cages and a giant lemur sitting in a throne.
"Wait a minute... this story if about the menacing monkey of all that is malicious, not the loser lemur of all that is lame" said Zebra-man
"Nice work with the spontaneous alliteration" said Eads.
"HAHAHA" laughed the lemur. "I work for the malicious monkey. I guard his prisoners here. And i cleverly captured half of your group!"
"yeah, but the other half walked straight in" pointed out dalmatiHonn.
"That is only because i didn't think anyone would be stupid enough to walk in through the front door. that backfired" said the Lemur King. "Enough chatting, let us duel!"
So, yet another epic battle began.
Zebra-man, eads, and DalmatiHonn were doing alright, but they couldn't handle all of the lemurs that surrounded them. Then the caged flying animals noticed a lemur standing near them, but he was mumbling so they couldn't understand him.
"Speak Up" said piginny.
"Oh, sorry" said the lemur. "i was just explaining that i wanted to help you guys out of here."
"No," said Piginny, "I wanted to be the only character that was once bad and then became good. You are stealing my thunder!"
"Fine, I won't help"
"No, wait" interjected Penguin Guy, "you should help us anyway. I'm Penguin Guy, what's your name?"
"I'm Smitty the kitty. I know it doesn't make sense because I'm a lemur, but they named me wrong as a joke, and because it rhymes. I'm really bitter about it, which is why I want to help you"
He then released them and they all joined the fight. Zebra-man suddenly had an idea. he unzipped his fannypack and threw DK the rock at the Lemur King. it hit him in the head and fell into his hand. the lemur King looked down and DK said "Your answers lie within, The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones." The Lemur king was so confused that he ordered the fighting to stop while he pondered DK's words. As he was pondering, he received a sharp kick from Zebra-Man, a panda-power punch from Eads, a sharp beak peck from Piginny and Mary the Goose, a bite from DalmatiHonn, a wing smack from Penguin guy, a lemur-karate chop from Smitty the Kitty, and a roundhouse kick to the face from Chuck Norris... all at the same time. He then exploded into a thousand pieces, because no lemur can bear that much pain.
The new and improved crime-fighting team, with Smitty the kitty (the lemur) then went to rescue James the Killer whale.
"Thank you for saving me. Now I can help out your team, as long as you are near water. Yay!!!"
Dk looked at him and said "A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows the public opinion."
Then the entire team threw their heads back and laughed. "Ha ha ha" giggled Zebra-man.
but had the team known what dark and dangerous road lay ahead for them, their laughter would have been short lived. But instead, they laughed a really long time.
To be continued....
# adventure retold by Schrieber : 2:50 PM
Comments:
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oh david i agree that is your best story yet! very good. someday you need to publish the whole story. ya here's for powerful beak- pecks. boo ya.
ha ha ha ha ha (etc.)
wow, one needs a good laugh once in a while.
And I agree with Aaron, my favorite part was the proverb about the cow and the cat, and zebraman's response.
DK the rock might be my new favorite character.
oh wait, Smitty the Kitty is awesome too. A little more true to like than the proverb-speaking DK.
Oh, and one last thought: oops, I forgot what I was going to say. sorry.
wow, one needs a good laugh once in a while.
And I agree with Aaron, my favorite part was the proverb about the cow and the cat, and zebraman's response.
DK the rock might be my new favorite character.
oh wait, Smitty the Kitty is awesome too. A little more true to like than the proverb-speaking DK.
Oh, and one last thought: oops, I forgot what I was going to say. sorry.
Ginny- Thank You much (and don't steal "Boo Ya")
Aaron- I drink lots of Sprite and listen to really happy music (like Rocket Summer or Superchick). I'm glad you laughed hard. Foshizzle.
Kaylee- I'm glad you liked the proverbs.And I hope that DK the rock can be your second-favorite character. (Maybe Zebra-Man could be the first? Just a thought)
Aaron- I drink lots of Sprite and listen to really happy music (like Rocket Summer or Superchick). I'm glad you laughed hard. Foshizzle.
Kaylee- I'm glad you liked the proverbs.And I hope that DK the rock can be your second-favorite character. (Maybe Zebra-Man could be the first? Just a thought)
of course.
I forgot that this might need clarifying. I thought it would be obvious. Well, aparently it's not, so here goes:
Zebra-man is the obvious character favorite. So obvious that I didn't even think to mention it. But after that, you need to have another category for "favorite" characters. (mostly so the other ones don't feel left out and overshadowed by zebra-man's awesomeness and glory). So, as you've probably figured out, Smitty the Kitty and DK the rock fall into that favorite characters category of mine.
Makes sense now, right?
I forgot that this might need clarifying. I thought it would be obvious. Well, aparently it's not, so here goes:
Zebra-man is the obvious character favorite. So obvious that I didn't even think to mention it. But after that, you need to have another category for "favorite" characters. (mostly so the other ones don't feel left out and overshadowed by zebra-man's awesomeness and glory). So, as you've probably figured out, Smitty the Kitty and DK the rock fall into that favorite characters category of mine.
Makes sense now, right?
Oh, I get it now! I guess I forgot about the "favorite" character category as opposed to the favorite character category. Thanks for clearing that up. <: )
Jay- Does your character wear a panda suit or is he an actual panda? We need to figure that out... i guess i always envisioned them as being the actual animals, because they birds can actually fly- or, are they half-human half-animals, and they can change between their regular self and their crime fighting self.
Yeh, weren't there books about ani-morphs? And the covers had pictures of them changing- and the bad guys were weird little slug things that crawled into peoples brains and controlled them? (Eewww)Or maybe I'm thinking of something else.
i will answer david.
i think you were right about the book covers and everything- but i don't remember the slimy things that crawled into people's brains and controlled them- that sounds an awful lot like a star trek episode where these crazy bug things- they looked like beetles- crawled in through people's brains and lodged themselves at the base of the skull and turned the crew members all weird and stuff. it was crazy. i remember a weird dinner meal dish thing of noodles that had something to do with the beetle thingy too- but i don't remember that much.
anyways. animorphs are creepy, and boo for mind- controlling beetles.
and david remember- zebras get all the attention because they are so unique... striped horse- like things? crazy.
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i think you were right about the book covers and everything- but i don't remember the slimy things that crawled into people's brains and controlled them- that sounds an awful lot like a star trek episode where these crazy bug things- they looked like beetles- crawled in through people's brains and lodged themselves at the base of the skull and turned the crew members all weird and stuff. it was crazy. i remember a weird dinner meal dish thing of noodles that had something to do with the beetle thingy too- but i don't remember that much.
anyways. animorphs are creepy, and boo for mind- controlling beetles.
and david remember- zebras get all the attention because they are so unique... striped horse- like things? crazy.
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