ZebraMan, PenguinGuy, & Eads the Panda

In the world of on-line literature, there are really only two things that deserve to be written about. They are, of course, eagles and cow/pigs. (Cow/pigs are one thing). Therefore, since I want this story to have deserved to be written, it will include both an eagle and a cow/pig.

Once upon a time there was an eagle and a cow/pig. And once upon a time they had a fateful conversation:
"Hey cow/pig" said the eagle, "I'm bored."
"Me too," said the cow/pig, "What shall we do?"
Then they had a fateful lull in the conversation.
And then the conversation fatefully resumed
"Let's go do something adventurous" said the eagle.
"Sweet," said the cow/pig, "what shall we do?"
"Let's go for a hike" said the eagle.

So the two decided to go for a hike. The eagle, despite having the ability to fly, decided to walk alongside his friend the cow/pig. Finding a nearby forest, the two began to wander aimlessly through it, occasionally pausing to admire the beauty of the sunlight shining through the leaves of the forest.
"Look at the way the sun shines through the leaves of this forest" said the eagle.
"Yes, I was just admiring that" said the cow/pig.
In their wandering they reached the base of a mountain, and began to hike up it. After hiking for quite some time, they reached the top of the mountain, and were surprised to find a small, seemingly uninhabited, shack.
"Wow, that's weird," said the eagle, "why is there a bamboo shack on top of this mountain in the middle of a forest?"
"I don't know," said the cow/pig, "why do you park in a driveway and drive in a parkway?"
"Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?" said the deep booming voice of a large panda as he came out of the bamboo shack.
"Yeah, it does" said the eagle, who was brave enough not to be frightened by the unexpected appearance of a large panda with a booming voice. (The cow/pig was not as brave, and had hidden behind a bamboo grove at the first sound of the panda's footsteps.
"Are you alone, eagle?" said the big panda. "This magical bamboo forest, also known as Panda Forest, has a powerful spell on it that only allows people in the presence of a panda to reach the base of, and ascend, Panda Mountain. But you are not a panda."
"I'm not alone either" said the eagle. "Hey cow/pig, get out here."
The cow/pig stepped out of his hiding place and sheepishly (or cow-piggishly) looked up at the panda.
"Oh geeze!" said the panda, "Is that a cow/pig? The legend is actually that you need a panda or a cow/pig to get through the forest and up the mountain, but we pandas have always assumed that cow/pigs don't exist, so we shortened the name from Panda and Cow/Pig Forest to Panda Forest. Wait a minute, I'll be right back."
The eagle and the cow/pig looked at one another, and shrugged. Then the eagle had an idea...
"Okay, I'm back," said the panda as he stepped out of his shack. "Where are you guys?"
Then the eagle and the cow/pig jumped out from behind opposite sides of the shack. The eagle flew up full speed into the panda's belly, and the panda fell back over the cow/pig.
"First EVER Giant Fat Panda Tip!!!" said the eagle, as he high-fived the cow/pig.
"That was unnecessary" said the panda. "Anyway, I didn't always live up here by myself. There was once another panda, ancienter than I, who lived on this mountain in this shack. He passed away last Tuesday, but he left me a note that he said I couldn't open until I met one of the legendary cow/pigs. I figured he was old and crazy, which he was, but I also figured he was old and crazy because I didn't believe in cow/pigs. First of all, who has ever heard of a cow/pig? And, they supposedly come from Canada, which for many years I didn't believe in either. But now here you are, so I opened the note."
"What does it say?" asked the eagle.
"As I was going to say, before I was tipped, the note reads "A time of great evil has passed, I've been drinking green tea all day, but a time is coming when the great evil will return, we just ran over a small bus, and when that evil comes, pools are great for holding water, new and old powers will need to unite to fight it, ultimate-punch."
"That panda was crazy" said the eagle.
"Regardless of that, I believe that you are this new power, a demonstrated by your bravery, legendary-ness, and tipping abilities. You must travel to the distant and ancient lands of Wolley and Der to find the tools to summon the old powers and defeat this rising evil."

"Alright, I have nothing else to do," said the eagle. "You in?" he asked the cow/pig.
"Yep" said the cow/pig.
"Good luck," said the panda. "Go that way."
And so the eagle and cow/pig set off towards Wolley.
"Wait," said the panda, "what are your names, so that this story may be recorded in legend?"
"Gregle," said the eagle, "Gregle the Eagle."
"Lenny," said the cow/pig, "Just Lenny."
"About time," said the panda.
"Who are you?" yelled Gregle, who was by this point quite far away from the panda on the mountain.
"I am Eads the Panda," said the panda. "Good Luck."

To Be Continued...